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Titel: The Hallucinated Community College of the Mobile Academy
Date: 07th of May 2005
Place: HAU 2,(Hebbel am Ufer, Berlin)
Statistics: 42 Topics, 100 Experts, 40 Tables
Languages: Arabic, Bangla, Chinese, German, English, French, Greek, Hindi, Italian, Japanese, Dutch, Low German, Portuguese, Russian, Swedish, Urdu, Viennese

Accidents / Activism, political / Aeronoutics / Animals / Architecture / Cartography / Choreography / Communication / Customs / Dilemma / Ecotrophology / Education / Ethics / Games / Language / Media / Memory / Meteorology / Millinery / Music, historical stringed instruments / Music, listening / Music, composing / Music, noise, sound / Music, song / Money / Nirvana-Principle / No Headword / Orientation / Poetry / Quantum mechanics / Sex / Somatology / Space / Sports / Techniques, arts / Techniques and body / Techniques, crafts / Text / Theatre / Tourism / Translation / Urbanism / Work

Accidents
Daniel Belasco Rogers, performance-artist, set-designer, reckless sleepers, plan b
How to cartograph your accidents

Martin Nachbar, choreographer, dancer, co-curator of mode05
Tested accident techniques, that allow you to emerge uninjured out of an accident

Activism, political
Biblab Basu, historian
Only the powerless question the definition and application of knowledge

Tim Blue, performance artist, activist, musician
1) Export Tyranny: Activism and Art on the Eve of War
2) Eat Propaganda, Shit Democracy: The Role of American Artists during War

Matthias von Hartz, director
What globalization and democracy don't have in common

Jose Maria Vieira Mendes, playwright, translator
3 songs about the Carnation Revolution, Portugal April 25, 1974: E Depois do Adeus / Grandola, Vila Morena / Tanto Mar

Philipp Oswalt, architect, publisher, curator of Shrinking Cities
De-Politisation through political art

Aeronoutics
Martin Wagner, aviation engineer, institute for aerospace technology TU Berlin,
Welcome on board -the system technology of today's aircrafts

Animals
Anja Dieckmann, Max-Planck-Institute for Human Development, department of Adaptive Behaviour and Cognition
The comprehension of numbers of sea lions (and other vertebrates)

Nicholas Grindell, translator
Speculative approaches to public animal sculptures

Dr. Rüdiger Plarre, biologist, entomology (science of insects), advisor for the Federal Government in questions of pest control and damage precautions against insects that destroy materials and stored food products, lecturer at FU Berlin
Uninvited guests in house and home - insect pests on artefacts and stored products

Architecture
Elke Beyer, historian, specialised in post-socialistic city-development, Shrinking Cities
Remarkable similarities between Ford's and Stalin's dreams, or: was the USSR a case of capitalistic wishful thinking? Picture analysis

Bruno Flierl, architecture theorist
Multi-storey buildings. Higher and higher, for whom and against whom?

Cartography
Neco Celik, film-maker , Life and Death in 36 (Part 2)

Matthias Heisters, research scientist at the FAV (Applied Traffic Research Association)
Going by foot - means of transport or means of appropriating public space

Isabel Platthaus, radio editor, phD comparative literature
Straightforward to Hell - itinerary for a tour of the under world

Choreography
Meg Stuart, choreographer of damaged goods
Why beauty is still an option, A choreography for four hands.

Communication
Birgit Althans, research scientist in educational science, associate scientist at the interdisciplinary research project "Kulturen des Performativen", FU Berlin
Help with gossip problems: the transit of information in corporate institutions

Dr. Dirk Baecker, Prof. for sociology, University of Witten / Herdecke
The Turing-Machine. The Desire to play and the Desire to Win

Jill Emerson, dancer with the group dorkypark, Pilates-trainer
Advice on dating methods and techniques

Anselm Franke, curator KunstWerke
1) Looking at artistic work, projects and project sketches: an improvised analysis of curatorial tendencies (bring your own material)
2) Pictorial interrogation, imagination and myth (bring your own photographs)

Hella Knappertsbusch, saleswoman at the bookstore Schropp
How to sell a car driver a hiking map. Selling strategies

Thomas Sakschewski, project manager and lecturer THF Berlin
Corporate communication or: the loudest dogs have the shortest legs

Customs
Irena Akopjan, translator, cultural organiser
1) The topography of the table: questions on placing at family-meetings
2) Secular customs: how to ornate the Christmas tree for Chanukka.

Andreas Bredenfeld, translator, city-guide
Rules of protocol for incoming state visits by foreign dignitaries.

Amelie Deuflhard, artistic director of the sophiensaele
Lamb chops and Easter celebrations: Recipe and Ceremony

Dilemma
Harald Preissler, future researcher at DaimlerChrysler
1) The story of the 18. Camel
2) The story of the missing square

Litò Walkey, dancer, performer, member of the performance group Goat Island Chicago
The Act of Standing on one Leg in Goat Island Performance: Is it Dance or is it Work?

Gabriele Leidloff, visual artist, producer, author of the project
l o g - in / l o c k e d o u t - A Forum of Art and Neuroscience -
www.locked-in.com.
Imagine a person who is shown nothing yet believes to have seen everything -what will she see?

Ecotrophology
Lindy Annis, director, performance-artist
The Artichoke: Its history and its consumption (bring your own fork!)

Bernhard Thome, performance-artist, cook
Art and Cooking. Variations in taste and aesthetics of your favourite recipe.

Yoshio Yabara, costume- and set-designer, and much more
The universe of the Japanese rice and the secrets of sushi rice

Education
Marijke Hoogenboom, associated Prof. for Artistic Practice and Interdisciplinary Development, co-founder of DasArts
If education is the answer - what is he question? Instructions for a self-made school

Bernd O. Hölters, director of the Community College Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg
1) Community College today: approaches to a successful learning
2) Simplify your life: instructions for an easier life

Lars Rudolph, actor & Assistant, Promises of salvation for people with discipline

Ethics
Sabine Chwalisz, artistic director of the fabrik Potsdam, choreographer, psychologist
Surprisingly easy methods how to lead a long and happy relationship

Dr. Anja Dieckmann, research scientist Max-Planck-Institute for Human Development, Adaptive Behaviour and Cognition
Simple heuristics for good decision making

Dr. Monika Keller, research scientist Max-Planck-Institute for Human Development, Adaptive Behaviour and Cognition, research area social and moral development in different cultures, lecturer FU Berlin
Ideas on friendship and promises in a cultural comparison between, China, Island, Russia, USA, Japan, Spain, and FRG/GDR

Angela Richter, director
1) Strategies how to avoid responsibility
2) How to build a small explosive device

Marc Siegel, lecturer in film studies FU Berlin, research in experimental film and queer studies, member of the performance group CHEAP
Pick yourself up with Anita O'Day: Applicable survival strategies of a jazz singer

Games
Xavier Le Roy, molecular biologist, choreographer, dancer
How to play the "Three-games-game"

Susanne Sachse, actress, member of CHEAP
Excitement and relaxation. How to get the most out of horror films.

Language
Inge Foerster-Baldenius, journalist, speaker of the SPD party in the GDR parliament, examiner in the centre for documentation of the victims of German dictatorships
1) De Kedelkoppersprook, a secret language in the port of Hamburg. Useful for relationships and intimacies.
2) Love letters in Low German

Abdel Amine Mohammend, student, Initiative for Refugees Brandenburg
1) Haussa: an African language
2) Dendi: an African language

Media
Irena Akopjan, translator, cultural organiser
Self-representation in a virtual world: which Avatar fits me well?

Carmen Bruder, Psychologist, phD TU Berlin, men-machine-interface
Why it's not your fault if your computer goes nuts
On the psychological background of technical system development. And what you can contribute.

Claudius Hagemeister, author for game-CD-Roms, short prose, writing lessons for youngsters
Scriptwriting for game-CD-Roms, Book-keeping virtues for exciting gameplay

Memory
Harun Farocki, film-maker Shut Up, Memory!

Maria Kwiatkowsky, actress, winner of the silver leopard in Locarno
Procastination taught by a professional.

Meteorology
Christoph Keller, artist, scientist
Cosmic overlapping and Cloudbusten in Wilhelm Reich

Millinery
Dorothee Dubrau, architect, Departmental City Councellor for city development in Berlin/Mitte
Politics, children, household - how to make them all fit in.

Music, historical stringed instruments
Timan Muthesius, violin-maker
Historical stringed instruments before 1800. The Viola da Gamba and the Viola da Braccio

Music, listening
Eunice Martins, improvisation/composition for diverse occasions and locations, pianist of the cinema Arsenal
Ear plays - on listening to the world and moving pictures

Matthias Osterwold, artistic director of MaerzMusik - Festival of the Berliner Festspiele for topical music - originally urban planner
How to avoid premature aging of the ear - or how I become a music-lover of good music

Music, composing
Nathan Fuhr, conductor, performer, dancer
An Activity: The musicality of everyday gestures and non-verbal communication in silent cycles of rhythmic play

Ulrike Haage, composer, pianist, radio-playwright
A bar for ear consumption: treating music and language with equal rights. A laptop exercise.

Daniel Ott, composer, new music theatre, site-specific orientation
Inventing new branches and forms of art. Intercultural composition.

Hannes Strobel, musician, composer
In lack of ideas randomize: composing at the computer with Metaphysical Function (N.L.)

Music, noise/sound
Patric Catani, musician (EC8OR, Candie Hank, Gagarin)
Kinderzimmer Homecomputer Pioneer (Flex Busterman - Candiehank.com)
Living in Noise - how to produce counter noise with an Amiga Commodore

Hannes Strobel, musician, composer
What is a music- digital and analogue ways of sound

Music, song
Nadja Michael, soprano
Big body - big voice? On the interdependence of physiology and vocal effectiveness

Burkhardt von Puttkamer, opera singer, specialist for concerts at unusual locations (Antarctica, mine)
Penguin-concert. An illustrated hummed singing lesson in the Antarctica.

Money
Stephan Geene, co-founder of the b_books publishing house and bookstore, curator, member of the collective film ping pong d'amour
Money-surrogates. Where money can be worth less than little money

Tom Lamberty, publisher (Merve), strategy consultant (Hewitt), and stachyologue
They just don't get it - knowledge as currency in academy, industry, and scenery

Nirvana-Principle
Sofia Hulten, visual artist
How to disappear.

Johannes Mergener, Taiji-instructor, lecturer at the Theatre Institute FU Berlin, actor, director, choreographer
Introduction to Taiji. An exercise.

Eva Maria Schön, visual artist
Loosing control? Blindfolded drawing and blueprinting

Patricia Thielmann, actress, Yoga-teacher, founder of Spirit Yoga
Free your mind. Yoga for Metropolitans.

Nina Thorwart, costume-designer, member of the performance group CHEAP
The Japanese technique of tying a knot and the art of self-loss

No Headword
Benjamin Förster-Baldenius, projective architect
How to organise your life in large communes. Or on building without planning and building permission

Michael Stehr, communication manager
Having fun and the BTM. An instruction

Florian Zeyfang, artist, author
Production resources 1970: The TVideopolitics of Sonimage (J.L. Godard &A.M. Mièville) taking into account the theory of "The two Avant-Gardes" (P. Wollen)

Orientation
Julian Klein, director, composer, member of the Young Academy at the Berlin-Brandenburg Academy of the Science, German Academy of the Natural Science Leopoldina
Golden Section in Mathematics and Art

Poetry
Alexej Kairetdinow, poet, translator
Explaining poetry, even single lines, with examples by Benn, Born, Brodsky, or brought by the client

Dr. Claudia Lux, President of the Central Libraries Berlin
How to find the right things. Professional searching methods in the libraries of Berlin

Benjamin Scheibehenne, psychologist,predoctorial research fellow at the Max-Planck-Institute for Human Development, department, Adaptive Behaviour and Cognition
Too much choice can be de-motivating

Dr. Udo Tietz, lecturer at the department of philosophy, HU, guest lecturer Marburg, co-publisher of the magazine Berlin Debatte INITIAL
How to formulate a social critique. Getting one's bearings.

Quantum mechanics
Alexej Kairetdinow, poet, translator
The uncertainty principle does (not) work without formulas. A philologist explains an experiment from quantum mechanics.

Sex
Sachse/Siegel, CHEAP
Dildos and Dildon'ts: How to Have Fun with Boys and Girls

Somatology
Marijke Hoogenboom, Amsterdam School for the Arts associate Prof. for artistic practice and interdisciplinary development, co-founder of DasArts
Scoliosis consultation

Percy McLean, judge at the Administrative Court, expert for human rights, honorary president of the organization for holistic medicine Der Weg der Mitte
Face- and neck massage. Theory and practice

Space
Monika Bruns, aura-reader
Individual reading of your life energies. An Aura- and Chakra reading.

Jesko Fezer, lecturer department of architecture UdK, associate pro qm, co-publisher of AnArchitektur
On the impossibility of spacial planning in principle

Katharina von Wilke, producer
How to use a 20-foot container with one glass wall as mis en scene.

Sports
Amit Dasgupta, deputy ambassador of India
How to become a Sillymidoff - An introduction to cricket

Ines Meyer, martial artist, QUANDAO kung-fu trainer, jurist
DER: Discover, Explore, Relate - martial arts in every day life

Techniques, arts
Lutz Engelke, manager of Triad Berlin, scenographer
Creativity: How to get ideas and put them into practice

Ilja Papatheodorou, performance-artist, sheshepop
Making a self-portrait fort he stage

Monika Rinck, poet, scriptwriter, essayist
The all time hall of shame. How shame and its transgression can become a source of artistic productivity.

Dr. Friedrich Weltzien, art historian FU, expert for artistic processes
Sometimes the most beautiful things happen by themselves. Why nature is an artist.

Yoshio Yabara, set- and costume-designer
The making and functions of every day and theatre kimonos.

Techniques and body
Jill Emerson, dancer dorkypark, Pilates-trainer
Learning a song or dance which could be helpful during a difficult date

Gertrud Schrader, visual artist, actions, media art, lecturer at the Institute for Aesthetics, University Hannover
Electronics and Biology: Eleology a term for artistic research

Techniques, crafts
Amelie Deuflhard, artistic director of the sophiensaele
How to set up a country garden

Constanza Macras, choreographer, dorkypark
Working with props. Every thing you find can be useful

Amelia Seymour, visual artist, English teacher at Universal Music
Popeshat or Lotusflower - The art of napkin-folding

Text
Michael Lüders, journalist, political advisor, author
How to write a bestseller. Ideas on an unpredictable phenomenon

Sophia New, performance-artist plan b.
Don't Let Email Take Over. Preserving and Valuing the Sensuality of Letters

Edith Püschel, psychological psychotherapist, student advisor FU
1) Subjectivity as a resource. Exercise in academic writing
2) Metaphor. the narrative of knowledge transfer. Exercise in academic writing

Theatre
Hamster Damm, set-designer, expert in theatre machines
Theatrum Mundi in the digital age

Barbara Gronau, lecturer in theatre studies, research in Aesthetics of Performativity, associate researcher at the interdisciplinary research project "Kulturen des Performativen", FU Berlin
1) How to analyse theatre performances
2) How to talk about a performance that you didn't understand

Matthias Lilienthal, artistic director and manager of Hebbel am Ufer
From A for Abramovic to W for Woosterfroup. A Jukebox of theatre-makers

Tourism
Dorothee Wenner, filmmaker, journalist, jury of the International Forum for young filmmakers Berlinale
Visitors itinerary for Berlin tourists without touristic interests

Translation
Frank Heibert, literary translator (DeLillo, LaBute), lector, jazz singer
HIS MASTER'S VOICE: how to find the right intonation in literary translation. With examples

Nele Hertling, former artistic director and manager of the Hebbel Theater, chairman of the DAAD artist program, deputy director of the Akademie der Künste
Moments of untranslateabilty in the international theatre touring business. With examples

Christof Kurzmann, musician
Learning Viennese with Asterix

Urbanism
Elke Beyer, historian, research area post-socialistic urban development, research assistant at Shrinking Cities, Projekt Schrumpfende Städte
A tour through Leningrad 1983 - sights of a soviet city with sprinkles of history

Dr. Klaus Brake, Prof. for regional and urban development, researcher, and consultant, conductor of the BerlinStudie
1) How to help the progress of your city with every day knowledge. Between city budget and Ich -AG
2) Imposed mobility: 1945 and today

Work
Matthias Heisters, research scientist at the FAV (Applied Traffic Research Association)
Sensed Knowledge. An alternative for non-academics

Katja Reichard, co-initiator of the bookstore pro qm, artist, collective projects on urbanism, gender, work
Forms of self-exploitation: working life in times of difference capitalism

Katharina von Wilcke, producer
DepArtment: the enterprise of leading a free production office


Partner: - Hauptstadtkulturfonds
- HAU, Hebbel am Ufer